God has been working on soothing this hurting heart lately.
Lately I've been wondering what I should be doing as far as my infertility journey goes (this is not the first time - it's really almost constant). Do I need to take different supplements? Try different diets? Eliminate certain things? Is it time to pursue medical treatment? What route should I go with that? So the other day I was praying in the shower, asking God "what do you want me to do?" And immediately "Wait on me," popped into my head.
Then there was something that happened, and I wondered if it was something that could affect fertility (something minor), but I realized "If God wants me to get pregnant this month, this won't stop Him!"
If I ever need something soothing to listen to, I can count on Andrew Peterson, so I was listening to his old Love and Thunder album, and so much of it spoke to me, but specifically The Silence of God.
Colony House is one of my new favorite bands, and one of their most popular songs is Waiting For My Time To Come. While this song was obviously not written with infertility in mind, the lyrics fit so well for me right now.
I got the book When Infertility Books Are Not Enough: Embracing Hope During Infertility, by Betsy Herman, as a free download somewhere and have been reading it slowly (When it's an ebook I tend to forget I have it!), and so much of what she says resonates with me. I will be reading it and thinking "I could have written this!" It's just beautiful.
Lately there have been several little snippets from my Dad's sermons that stand out to me, and apply to my journey, even when the sermon is about something else entirely. His most recent sermon, on July 12 included: "This is going to be ok, God is in control," "God will give you what you need, when you need it," and "Trust Jesus for today."
One evening I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed, and came across two very encouraging posts, one a simple post from Waiting For Baby Bird, the other a link to a longer blog post, from Barren To Beautiful. It was so encouraging, especially since I read them within only a few minutes of each other.
All of these things have been brought to my attention within the last 2 weeks. As I said, God is working on my heart. No one can tell me otherwise.
-MNM
